I’ve been trying to ski since I was 10. My parents took me to a little mountain in Pennsylvania, put skis on me and gave me a shove down a hill. “Have fun, honey!” They failed to mention how to stop or how to avoid running into trees.

Since then I’ve been to ski resorts in Utah, Maine, New Hampshire, West Virginia and Colorado. I’ve always had fun but I always fall down, get wet and feel cold. I think I like the hot tubs and the dancing on tables in the bars better than the skiing.

Maybe I should try the snowboarding.

If all else fails, there’s tubing.